Sometimes, children are heard saying: “My father comes home very late at night! My dad could not sign my notes in the newsletter! Teacher, my father tells me that he does not have time to help me with my homework. He says that this is the responsibility of the school! When he gets mad at me, he starts yelling and breaking things around!”.
Undoubtedly, when there are attitudes like the mentioned above, especially when fathers “delegate” actions or responsibilities to other members of the family, many of them falling on the mother, the most relevant damage is suffered, sooner or later, by their own children. This unpleasant situation in which parents assume a lack of time for their children’s education makes it very necessary to reflect on the importance of time in family life and its contribution to the development of children.
A father is, ideally, the first model of man that his children have. Hence, the importance of his presence; he is the first person who, together with the mother, will forge his children’s first life experiences.
Actually, a father must occupy a prominent place in the way children feel belonging to a family, to a society… A father is a help in the social development of his children, in their emotional balance. Hence, that is the need for him to have a balance of his personality, without traits of domination, much less subjugation.
The importance of an affectionate father
We reiterate it: a father’s behavior towards his children must be based on affectivity and negotiation, before this becomes dominant or overprotective acts. In this regard, a father, as a proactive model, knows how to get the positive out of each of the circumstances that his children go through. On the other hand, a father, as a model husband, should be an example of treatment and communication with his couple.
And if it were missing, what would happen? It would be evident a loss of affective and playful contact with playing with them is of vital importance in the construction of the child’s psychic apparatus and the development of her self-esteem. Sadly, family dynamics, of considerable importance for the development of children’s concept of family, are lost.
That is why the appearance of regressive behaviors such as insomnia, tantrum attacks, separation anxiety from the mother, loss of sphincter control, regression in cleaning habits, stagnation in cognitive acquisitions, and phobic fears in adults can occur due to the early absence of a dad. In a father-son interaction, the father contributes to the son’s emotional development by projecting himself in his mind as a competent, strong and confident person of his masculinity. He contributes in the same way by being affectionate in his treatment. This helps build competent and confident people in their personal lives.
By the way, are you one of them? Fortunately, more and more parents are aware of their role and contribution to family life and their children’s education.