This was confirmed for me in a recent class I was taking. Being a woman who owns and adores her natural feminine chaos, I often find it difficult to abide by the masculine driven meditative form of sitting for a very long time. Besides, I am a mother and I want to point out that no ‘spiritual’ man is looking after kids whilst sitting cross-legged for days.
So you can imagine my delight when the teacher began our class with the words: “Meditation is Sex in stillness. And Sex is meditation in action”…
In my mind, I was immediately bowing down to her holy self. Sex is the meditation I can be passionate about. And as a sex educator, I am all over it, personally making it my mission to support others in finding true sexual freedom.
Because what we have been taught, are still being fed through the media, religious and cultural beliefs are mainly based on mistruths and control mechanisms. This I find not only frightening but really dangerous. And for many worldwide, it does result in danger to their own lives. (More on that in a coming article. )
As we still hash out the concept of equal pay for equal work and continually advocate that the world needs to be a safe place for women to walk alone, there is one large boulder that is slowly being rolled over for both men and women consecutively.
Sexual freedom: Our sexual sovereignty
We are currently amidst a huge sexual evolution. Often pulling much-needed guidance from various ancient cultures of the past as we learn to break free from the suffocating and disempowering messages handed to us by current cultures that control our sexual well-being.
We are in the midst of a new revolution; the true revolution of our time. Radical Self Love; absolutely and unapologetically. Truly loving yourself is your multi-billion dollar factory. But let’s be honest…
It is not that easy! Everywhere you turn there are bombarding images of serene-looking people, hands in prayer position, generally on yoga mats, probably having just drunk cacao or a mean green juice, wearing hipster new yoga gear or sporting fashionable tattoos promising you that if you follow their steps you too can have it all.
You can love yourself, be loved and have a life you love. Do not get me wrong. I love cacao. In fact, I drink it every day. And I have become a tattoo addict pondering what to get for my twelfth ink.
I sometimes do yoga, and I definitely know the health benefits of greens, greens, greens inside and out. These are not aspects I am at all disregarding.
But by just doing these acts of self-love, it does not get you true self-love that runs deep in your core. Why? Because these acts are not addressing what is for many at the core of our human existence.
Our sexuality and the all-too-often trauma, guilt, and shame that surrounds it
The prevalence of world-wide sexual trauma and abuse hardly inspires us to fully dive into our deepest transformation coupled with societal, religious, and the new age spiritual bullying that is coming at us from every Angel it seems that advocate women’s purity and divinity through serene abstinence. No matter which way you look at, women’s bodies are still being used as commodities and cultural collateral to acquire.
It just does not stop! Everywhere we turn, we are told and shown how sex is a scary place. It is filled with danger, disease, shame guilt, and fear.
Yet our deepest transformation lies in our sexual freedom. In true freedom of our sexual sovereignty
To live your life denying your sexuality is cutting off your own lifeblood. To deny your sexuality is to place into the dark and ignore the very energy you were given in order to create life. In denying your sexuality as spiritual, you are denying your existence and your purpose. Sex is spiritual as all f—. Just saying… The power of creative energy is your sexuality. It is pure spirituality in the physical form.
Right now, as you read these words I invite you to stop and take a deep breath. I want you to really read and take in what I am about to tell you. I want you to fully receive this message I have for you.
And I know you will believe me. Because not only is there enough scientific evidence to prove it is true, but in the corners of your heart you will find that place where you know it to be true.
Lover; you are not broken. You are completely whole as you are. Your circumstances may have you thinking you are stuck; that there is something inherently wrong with you; that your libido is too high or too low; that your sex drive is too much or too little.
Depression, overwhelm, taking care of others, being overworked, feeling as if you are always defending yourself and not knowing if you are normal or not, are all circumstances. They are not you.
Lover, you are not broken. We are all made of the same parts, but just arranged differently.
What has got us here are untruths, manipulation and silencing the violence in cultures worldwide, towards mostly female bodies, their sexual behavior, and lack of menstrual advocacy. This patriarchal conditioning has not only harmed women, but also our men.
The men that father the daughters fall in love with the feminine and the boys that are dealt with sexual violation from the hands of suppressed sexuality.
We hope for sex, dress for sex, drink, and drug to fumble our way through sex, reject sex, marry for sex. drive certain cars to attract sex. We wear particular clothes to seduce another to have sex with us.
We fight about sex, we grieve for sex, we risk everything for sex, we divorce over sex, we hide from sex, we are ashamed of sex, we shame our children about sex, we watch others have sex, we violate innocents so we partake in sex, we pay for sex, governments criminalize our bodies over sex, we catch diseases because of sex and we become ill over not having enough of sex.
Sex would have to be the number one thing we as a society obsess over. We mutilate our genitals through numerous different types of procedures to abstain from it, look better for it and to pretend we have not done it.
At the end of the day, whether this earth is round or flat, we are only here because of this glorious act of sex Without it we would not exist as a human race. Yet the one thing we won’t do about sex is talk openly about it.
This is what I am here for. Every 2 weeks I will be sharing with you beloveds bold, down to earth and sometimes very button-pushing information, insights, and education that is all about your birthright, your pleasure.
Yes. It starts at home. Yet at home, we are the sum of all that has been previously taught. The state of sexual education policies is frightening whilst the state of our religious indoctrination is dedicated to disempower the very same women that birthed them.
According to the Guttmacher Institute, only 24 states in the United States and the District of Columbia currently mandate sex education in public schools. A recent study found it only to be 22 states. That is less than half!
And out of those 24 or 22 states, only 13 states require what’s taught to be medically accurate… let me say that again. Only 13 states (out of the 50 states in the United States) require what’s taught to be medically accurate.
This lack of comprehensive and inclusive sex education fosters a huge gap where outside groups are able to come in with a truckload of misinformation that supports their cause. For example, religious organizations that offer free abstinence-only programming for public schools.
Currently, in the US only 2 states prohibit sexed from promoting specific religions. And not one state is teaching our next generations anything about pleasure.
Sex is pushed onto the young with fear and damnation. And this is carried through to adulthood. You just need to read the emails I get every week to see how damaged our culture is around sex. It affects all of our lives.
Sexual energy is not an energy that one can ignore. It will always leak out in some way or another. The most sexually repressed societies are the most violent ones.
“You are not broken”: I want you to truly understand that
Think about this for a moment. When you were made, 2 small cells collided and blended to make an entirely new human being. You were born from the most intense creative combustion imaginable: It is absolute magic yet we tend to take it for granted that we came from a creative force that powerful.
Sexual energy is our life force. It is the only extra energy we have. It is our ‘Chi’. It is our very own inbuilt multi-billion dollar factory.
Your orgasm is intrinsically connected to your vital health; your emotional, physical and spiritual health. Your true connection to god consciousness is through sex. Just as your hair, your skin, your organs are a part of you, so is your sexuality.
Yet no other event in our lives carries such a heavy connotation of ridicule, fear, commodity to be bargained with, shame, guilt, disgust, or bullied against like sex does.
5,000 years ago ancient cultures rooted in Daoism and Tantra used sex for spiritual and emotional growth. Sex was used to become the best version of oneself.
So why do we have such a twisted and dis-eased view on sex and our sexuality? In our culture, today sex is used to control, belittle, shame, violate and suppress.
Although sexual and menstrual education is actually our birthright, more often than not this education is withheld from us. We are shamed into believing our bodies are dangerous and our desires are wrong.
We are left to fumble our way through grief and trauma handed to us by the systems that have been designed to protect us; systems that widely accept many levels of sexual violence.
It is still the uncharted corners of our society that is often too shameful to speak about. This shame builds industries that have moved from lurking in the shadows to being fully present in our everyday lives. Such as slut-shaming, pornography, honor killings, and human sex trafficking.
According to a report released by the State Department, in 2018, the United States was once again ranked as one of the worst countries in the world for human trafficking, placing it in the top-3 nations of origin, alongside Mexico and the Philippines.
Sexual repression affects everyone…
Want to keep up with my journey? Follow me on Instagram here. Write to me with your questions here. Until then, may you find absolute pleasure in being yourself…