We all know that winning over your mother-in-law is not an easy task. How to avoid been seen by her with X-ray eyes? Well, experts often say that if you behave smart enough, it will be very easy to get along with her!
Let’s start by saying that you are not necessarily planning to win her over by tomorrow. But, as in any good relationship, it is important to begin with a cordial treatment towards your mother-in-law, for the sake of a healthy coexistence at any level of a relationship. Also, this way you rule out a possible problem that can weigh on as a couple.
So make an effort, getting along with your mother-in-law will strengthen your marital relationship. Involving yourself with your in-law family in a positive way will help you understand a lot about the origin of your couple’s way of being.
Make her realize that you care about
The best way to gain her appreciation is by showing how much you love her child. When you see each other, tell her the things you do as a couple together, be communicative. Did you both start a diet or tennis lessons? Discuss it; she will realize that you are interested in improving together and that you have a constructive relationship. When she realizes that you’re looking for the same interests as hers, she will feel that you’re not a rival, but rather a part of the team.
Show interest in her
Sometimes, we feel that the mother-in-law has us in a constant interrogation state: When do you think about formalizing your relationship? Why did you become a vegetarian? Although you may feel terribly bad being questioned, think that she may just be curious about knowing more about the person her sibling is with. The fact that you do the same thing will be very positive; find out what her hobbies are.
Does she like gardening? Then spend some time with her, alone, and ask about her flowers. You will see that talking about a topic that pleases her, makes it easier to get to know each other. Pay attention to the things that interest her and tell her that you also enjoyed that movie that she said she loved. Find out her concerns and activities. Try to be present at important family events.
Do not criticize her
Maybe you cannot stand that your partner answers his/her cellphone at the table? Do not call attention to this type of detail in front of your mother-in-law, because she will also indirectly feel that you are criticizing the way in which she educated her sibling. Nobody likes observing reproaches to someone they love.
Better keep your observations to make them when you are alone with your couple, because by criticizing or talking about negative things in front of your in-laws, you will give his/her family the opportunity to comment negatively on your relationship.
Pay attention to details
We do not want you to fill her with gifts to gain her approval, but if she invites you to her house for dinner, show appreciation by helping her to pick up the table or take just take along some flowers. Why not invite her for breakfast once in a while? Your mother-in-law will not love you from one day to the next; you have to work on gaining mutual trust and show that you care and this is achieved over time.
Never stop being yourself!
Do not try to do things that do not go with your temper to please her. Be congruent, have details similar to those you also have with your own beloved ones. The most important fact is to cultivate these things from the beginning of the relationship. To achieve an alliance and create a positive bond with your in-law family, you have to start with the small details that will remain in the memories.
Give yourself the opportunity to know your mother-in-law by sharing more often with her. By gaining that love, step by step, she will feel praised to see that you take her into account, that you do not do put her aside.
For most mothers, their children are their greatest treasure. So when they meet their son/daughter-in-law, they may get jealous. But you do not have to worry about that if you honestly show her that you truly love her child; that is, the person you chose to be your couple.