How to Overcome Frustration

Overcoming frustration is not always easy. It is a feeling that appears in our lives when we fail to realize our projects, dreams and desires. It is usual to have met it even so it is an uncomfortable travel companion, since it does not allow you to dream again, nor to imagine new projects.

The feelings that accompany it are related to the personal moment that we live, thus increasing feelings of inefficiency, low personal self-concept, complexes, lack of motivation and illusions, of failure… “Frustration is an interesting emotional state, because it tends to bring out the worst in those who are frustrated”.

When we consider how to overcome frustration, it is common for them to advise us or to read self-help books that tell us that in order to carry out our projects and desires, what we have to do is imagine ourselves in them, that is, think, project, dream about them. …

But what about frustration?

Normally, when the feeling of frustration accompanies us, this projection exercise only increases the frustration more, since along with this projection of good intentions the fear appears “What if I don’t get it again?” don’t even try again”, “even if I try, I will fail again”…

So this is not a good path when frustration is with us. However, when we manage to get rid of this feeling, we will return to wishing, projecting and undertaking again, the search for our dreams. But until then, we have another way to go.

How to overcome frustration: Acceptance

If frustration accompanies us, and with it negative and defeatist feelings in the face of the dream we are pursuing, the path we have to take is that of ACCEPTANCE. What if I don’t get it? Can I live without achieving this that I propose? What is the reality that until now limits me? Are there other ways to find happiness? Acceptance means “being able to live intensely and fully what we have to live”, looking for other ways to realize our dreams, that who knows, may lead us to the same destination.

What limits us to achieve our projects is the same thing that on other occasions would help me to achieve it. That is to say, focusing attention, putting hope, having a lot of desire, and even impatience, are sometimes good components to achieve it.

But on other occasions, this generates frustration because things do not happen in correspondence to what we want, as we had expected and projected. And these same ingredients can hinder, slow down or block the goal, making it seem like it will never come appearing, then, a new companion on the road: frustration.

Frustration and reality

When we manage to accept the reality we are living, we will also manage to change it. Frustration will disappear when we accept that not everything can be achieved, but that I can search and find other ways to be happy. Thus, in this way, with other feelings, from acceptance, understanding, tranquility, we will continue walking towards our dreams, without these paralyzing my happiness at any time.

Along the way, other paths that intertwine may surprise me, and yet, finally, even without thinking about it, it may be that I have come very close or even see my dreams come true, feeling happy for the path traveled, as well as for what achieved, although this is not exactly how and what I had dreamed of. “Do not despair, not even because you do not despair. When all seems over, new forces arise. That means you live”.

And, when considering how to overcome frustration, we must accept and live life happily, recognizing that things do not happen when and how we want. However, accepting this truncated path from the “normality” of life can lead us to a different way of living, but no less happy.

Some specific keys to overcoming Frustration

Now, here are some practices that will help you develop your capacity for acceptance and thus overcome frustration:

• Keep in mind that fighting for something does not necessarily mean that you will achieve it. Sometimes, the most valuable thing is not arriving or winning, but learning. This means that it is fulfilled.

• For each difficulty, look for a solution. Just because it takes longer than expected doesn’t mean you won’t make it. Take responsibility for your actions.

• Be inspired by that person who has achieved what you set out to do. In a given situation, ask yourself what that person would have done. And, with that route, write down possible problems you may have and what you will do to prevent or solve them. In this way you anticipate and avoid surprises living them as failures. Do not forget that the so-called “failure” is also a path to your success.

• If you need help or advice, do not hesitate to do so. You do not have to feel less for it, on the contrary, value every contribution that the environment can give you, since it can make a difference.

• Celebrate every achievement, no matter how small. Many times we underestimate the scope of small advances and we do not realize how much we have advanced since the beginning; this discourages us and makes us believe that we have not achieved anything. Therefore, valuing each step that brings you closer to the goal will make you feel more motivated and self-confident.