The news that Allison was killed by a man who saw her as a disposable object and not as a person, hurts many, many people, our own and strangers, the pain of her family hurts and it hurts us. Giving us fear that it instills in us.
Given this, in social networks, several people saw how it became viral, once again, to put on the cover photo “I was born to be free, not murdered.” This is one more way that women have to express our collective pain and raise our voice so that it does not happen again, to raise awareness;
Openly feminist women like those who do not identify themselves as such, we are hurt, as well as we are in fear, anger, and fed up at the same time, and we need to express in the face of events like Allison’s.
However, some men, some with good intentions, began to use a frame in their profile photos that indicates “I was born to take care of woman, not to rape or kill her.” Women do NOT need them to take care of us, we simply want them to let us live in peace, to confront their acquaintances who do not do it and exert violence against us. Also, let them work their masculinities towards healing.
The position that they “take care of” us, in addition to being unnecessary, is not at all vindictive in favor of us, rather it is deeply paternalistic. Those who “take care of” us have complicated roots, of continuing to “protect” our lives and our bodies, of continuing to do with us what they consider “best” and what we want remains invisible. Guardianship or care requires a person who cannot help themself, such as a young girl or boy. Women (yes, in plural) all we want is to be treated as people, to respect our freedom.
Furthermore, it is necessary to say that we are not only violated by raping or killing. When they violate affective agreements with their stable or casual partners, they violate us. When they treat us like less at work, they violate us. When they do not pay alimony or do not take care of their sons and daughters, they violate us. When they overload all the housework and care tasks, they violate us. When they shout “compliments” at us in the street, they violate us.
I urge you to individually and collectively question your masculinities, heal them, create groups among yourselves to talk about this. The leading role in the face of a femicide is not yours, it is not about you, it is about the pain of the family, of that woman’s friends; as well as the collective pain and anger of us women.