You do not have to bring up the subject on the first date, nor on the second but at some point in your relationship have you to deal with the uncomfortable issue of money. How much do you earn? Who will pay the rent? Where will we invest our savings?
Money is a delicate matter. Many men and women prefer to say their age rather than confess how much they earn. Although it sounds incredible, there are people who don’t reveal this secret even to their partners. And even if they are convinced that money is not everything, the truth is that it is an important factor that can positively or negatively affect the other aspects of a relationship.
If your partner and you are determined to take the next step, get married or go live together in the not too distant future, you better stop postponing that conversation and discuss the issue as soon as possible.
Love is to acquire a basket of qualities and defects of another person and sell a similar basket to them. Therefore the price paid and received must be fair. It is true that we may not always be able to acquire all we want, but the final choice should not distract too much from what we owe and believe we deserve.
A healthy relationship should also try not to fall into a situation of excess, to the point of not observing that our partner begins to lose interest or that love tends to be marginally decreasing over time.
Love has a cost just like any company. A relationship is, in fact, a verbal contract where property rights and terms are established or at least must be clearly defined. It is true that making the decision to be with someone implies losing other people and other opportunities, which is interpreted as an opportunity cost. But just like when you are about to make an investment decision, the benefit must be greater than the cost, since otherwise, the company would not generate returns but rather losses and these can lead to bankruptcy.
In love, the effects of a failure bring with it a learning process that guarantees better results in the future (wider learning curve, but it is also true that if it can be avoided better yet). No one likes to lose and see their company go bankrupt. Therefore, it is important to appropriate personal decisions and stop blaming the market. Love cannot be programmed or shaped mathematically, but the decisions we make if they mark our future path, which may well lead us to success or bankruptcy.
There will be those who say that it is really the love for money and the truth is that everyone interprets love in their own way. Love has its roots in the survival of the species, the fact that we are prepared to collaborate or seek the common good. This is precisely what has allowed us to endure as a species over time, overcoming all kinds of difficulties. From this point of view, it is very clear how long the first human beings would have lasted if they had only sought their individual well-being, and not have followed those instincts that begin with physical attraction and almost obsessive passion.
Love is the energy that moves the world. Many times actions say more than words and you can give yourself a good idea as to how your partner thinks about sentimental bonds since dating begins. Everyone manages the money from what they have learned from past experiences. Although this is not a rule, seeing how the dynamics between your parents are/were, can give you an idea of how things will be for you when you start a family. Knowing a person from what they think about money also knows them in other areas of life since it is a reflection of one’s ideas and emotions.
Maybe you fear that your partner thinks that you are a materialistic and calculating person if you are the one who puts the issue of money on the table, but this is not necessarily so. Everything will depend on how to approach the matter and your willingness to reach agreements. It is important that you do it at the right time so that he/she is not worried or is not at that moment all stressed up and much less in the middle of the football game. Although sometimes you might think that it is impossible to talk about this to your partner, acknowledge there is always some way to reach common points from which you can negotiate a fruitful relationship.
