Every day in consultation, I find a very strong reality; human beings are, in many cases, our strongest “executioners”. I mean, we tend to judge and criticize ourselves, not precisely with the intention of improvement. We do it many times from spaces that generate pain and guilt.
And we end up believing that we are worthy of life punishments for not considering ourselves “good enough”. That is, we give permission to that inner voice that becomes a “punishing judge”.
We must pay attention to that internal dialog with ourselves
If we pay attention, we will realize that when we don’t feel good emotionally it is because we listen to our internal dialogue. And we do it from an unconscious space, where the need to compare with others prevails. Or we do it out of anger, because we can’t have control and things don’t turn out the way we expect.
How are we going to feel good if we hear that we will never make it? Or what is that is very difficult, and that they will never notice us?
Something that works very well is allowing us to listen to the same words that that inner voice tells us. If we are going to change his voice, I suggest giving him the voice of some character that you find funny, an extremely funny voice.
With either of both tips, no matter what we are saying to each other, the effect will be very different. Try it. Another way is changing into a positive statement by first using: “What if…” Following the examples in the previous paragraph, you can say: “And if from now on, I can do it”. What if I find a way to make the difficult easy? What about if this person notices the good in me? Do this exercise constantly and you will see how much better you will feel.
What if he realizes the possibility of doing it from another place, from one that does not imply judging oneself negatively? I am truly a believer that there is the possibility of questioning our patterns; that is, our way of doing things with the aim of improving every day.