Valentine’s is over and if you’re reading this, you probably didn’t have the best day. Maybe that date wasn’t what you expected or maybe you didn’t have a date at all. Either way, you wish yesterday didn’t happen at all or thought of it as any other day.
Why do we care about Valentine’s day anyway? It’s just another day in the calendar and it’s corny. We sometimes may think that it’s another one of those days where people spend a lot of money. Even if that’s true, it doesn’t solve the fact that you’re not doing too well on relationships. There’s something wrong when we make the same mistakes and we don’t know why that happens.
So, this guide is meant to help those persons that crash and burn over and over again in love. It’s nothing to feel bad about, like with everything in life, it’s all about learning. We just have to change our current mindset on how relationships work. When we finish, you’ll have a few things to think about and after some practice, things should start changing for you in love and life altogether.
10 Tips for a better Valentine’s (and a better life)
- The problem starts with ourselves. This can sound a bit rough, but unless a meteorite falls from the sky, we’re responsible for everything that goes on our lives. So, admitting that the problem starts with us is a big step, leaving pride aside is never easy. Nevertheless, it paves the way for a better version of ourselves.
- Check your relationships with your family. If you want to change the world, better start at home. It’s the same with relationships, tie loose ends with your parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, whoever it is. Our parental relationships are especially critical because in most cases they are our main influence in life. This means that we tend to think and act the way that they do. If we can love and accept our family members, we’ll instinctively seek similar persons that make us feel like it’s home.
- Pay attention to details in persons. Most relationships start with physical attraction, two people see each other and is love at first sight. While that sounds romantic, it’s not smart if you don’t actually get along and end up hating each other’s guts. Love is trial and error, but you should narrow your likes and dislikes on persons. That can save you a few bad dates and some bad moments.
- Avoid troublesome persons at all costs. Love is a necessity – physical and mental one – and you’re looking to solve that, not add another problem. You can pinpoint troublesome persons by noticing their constant complaints without solutions. Avoid relating to persons like this at all levels, these things can snowball into undesirable situations.
Don’t know who do you like? Check your mom and dad. Remember what I said about influence? In the long run, for better or worse we seek people that are like our parents. Subconsciously they make us feel safe and secure, so look for the persons that give you that kind of feeling.
- Always, always listen. Relationships are made of two or more persons, not one. Both of you matter and make part of an equilibrium. It’s giving and taking, reciprocity, where two become one and each one of those parts are equally valuable.
- Don’t avoid problems, confront them. Some persons think that the best way to long-lasting relationships is not having any problems at all. That’s far from the truth, problems are a necessary evil, otherwise, life would be very boring. So, take on those uncomfortable conversations with an open mind to solve them. Remember that bottled up emotions and problems can detonate later, resulting in disastrous scenarios.
- Change the formula every now and then. We all love macaroni and cheese, right? But imagine eating that dish for the rest of our lives, then we wouldn’t love it that much. Heck, I might end up hating it because I like variety. It’s the same with relationships, and no, I’m not suggesting cheating, live different things with your significant other every now and then to spark the flame back into the relation. It’s a breath of fresh air when that happens, for both persons.
- Trust, but don’t get careless. As a guy, I know the biggest reason why relationships end up being complicated. One of the two likes unpredictability, the other one doesn’t, it’s perfectly ok. When a couple gets along they end up sharing their way of living and it’s great. Trust becomes a given and we get careless. Watch out, being careless could mean that it doesn’t matter as much as it once did. Women are especially adept at detecting this, so when this happens, go to #8 tip right above and light the dying bonfire again.
- Little things can add up to a lot (of love). Have you heard that the small things can destroy a
relationship? Well, let’s turn that around and it’s completely valid for good things as well. If we give little presents, take the initiative and are ahead of things and show small signs of love. These can make sure that the relationship is healthy and alive through many years.
It seems like a lot of work to do!
They are, if you feel overwhelmed about doing every one of these tips, it’s completely normal. You can start with anyone of these tips – whichever you like better – and incorporate others as time goes along. Try them out, even if you manage to do only one, you’d end up being a better person than you were yesterday. Isn’t that what we came here for? To improve and live the best we can.