Moving abroad can evoke a complex mix of emotions: joy, sadness, discouragement, and hope, often all at the same time. How can you manage these conflicting feelings to embrace life in a new country with calmness and optimism?
Navigating the emotional turbulence of moving abroad
Moving to another country doesn’t require crossing the world or immersing oneself in a radically different culture to trigger a deep internal conflict. Even a carefully planned change can unleash a whirlwind of contradictory emotions and confusing thoughts, commonly known as an “emotional rollercoaster.” As its name suggests, this process involves a swing of emotions, from joy to sadness, from calm to discouragement, that arise and disappear uncontrollably, making you feel them with great intensity.
Each person’s experience is unique; you won’t necessarily go through the same emotional journey as other expatriates. While some adapt surprisingly quickly, others may find the stress almost overwhelming. Regardless of how you react emotionally, it is essential to accept both the highs and the lows in order to better understand your own emotional landscape. Here we present some of the emotions you might experience on your trip abroad.
Euphoria
You are full of emotion, and rightly so. Whether it’s fulfilling a lifelong dream, advancing in your career, or moving for love, your decision to relocate abroad fills you with undeniable joy. Whatever your reason may be, it is a profound reason to celebrate.
Nervousness
Everything seems out of place. The initial joy has been buried under mountains of paperwork. Your dream is now facing the relentless bureaucracy of the foreign country. The endless wait for your visa feels eternal. Are you tired of the constant back and forth with immigration services and the persistent questions from your relatives, “Are you still there?” and “When are you leaving?”
Pride
Despite the challenges, there is much to feel proud of. Facing another administrative hurdle, like presenting your income statement, reminds you of your effort to save enough for a smooth transition abroad. With calmness, a feeling of pride also washes over you, humble yet profound. You reflect on the journey you’ve taken and appreciate every step that has brought you to this point.
Sadness
But how will life be so far away from your loved ones? You just received a promising update from the administration: your visa will be ready soon. However, instead of feeling joy, a wave of sadness washes over you. Thoughts about everything you will miss at home occupy your mind, generating anxiety. The doubt arises: What if you delay your departure?
Joy
The visa is on its way! After reviewing the immigration services letter for the third time, it is clear: the bureaucratic obstacles are behind us, the wait is over, and the barriers have fallen. You are completely prepared for your move in material terms. Only mental preparation remains. With renewed determination and a joy that radiates from your face, you make your decision: you are going abroad.
Doubt
Can you really handle living alone? Even if you’re not moving to another continent, changing countries is a big step. Just yesterday, doubts about living far from your loved ones began to surface. Moreover, you are struggling with the language barrier: the classes you took haven’t helped trace. And deciding to go out in the midst of an economic crisis adds another layer of complexity. Without a doubt, this is your boldest move yet. Are you really sure about your decision?
Curiosity
When it comes to decisions, you’re tempted to take it all. Curiosity clouds your thoughts, and a virtual tour introduces you to the most prominent chefs of your host country’s cuisine. You delight in their entire menu—a little extravagance that is essential from time to time. The culinary delights of your destination awaken your curiosity, prompting you to revisit your travel guides in search of more inspiration. With the departure near, it’s time to start packing.
Discouragement
Honestly, everything feels overwhelming. Moving abroad comes with a myriad of challenges, and packing is just the beginning. Everything seems to be going wrong. The apartment you need to vacate, the endless emails from immigration asking for a document you’ve already sent several times, the excessive visa fees, the costly moving services, and the plane tickets have piled up. You are financially overwhelmed even before stepping foot in the new country. It’s enough to make you reconsider your decision.
Hope
What would happen if you bet on yourself? What does one more email mean in the grand scheme of your dreams? Yes, it’s a nuisance and adds some digital clutter, but it’s the last hurdle before your adventure begins. Once sent, you will be on your way to a new country, ready to advance in your career, change jobs, and reunite with your partner, who has been waiting for you abroad. All your aspirations, hopes, and plans to move are about to become a reality. And just in time: the plane leaves tomorrow.
How to manage your emotions
The common advice to “manage” or “overcome” emotions often simplifies a more complex reality: what is crucial is learning to live with your emotions in order to build trust. The first step is to recognize both positive and negative feelings in order to better understand how to respond to them. Unlike what is commonly believed, experiencing a negative emotion does not mean it should be dismissed immediately. Instead, it should be acknowledged and examined: ask yourself why you feel sad at that moment. Recognizing an emotion does not mean you have to accept it or let it overwhelm you. By identifying feelings like sadness, you gain the power to decide whether and how they will influence your actions.
Embrace joy
Celebrating your achievements is essential. Whether obtaining your visa and residence permit has been a struggle or a straightforward process, you deserve to enjoy and express your joy openly. Joy should not be hidden, although it must be sensitive to the context. For example, if a friend did not have the same luck with his visa application, moderate your celebration for consideration. However, you should never feel guilty about your own success.
Accepting frustrations
It’s inevitable, you will always be “absent.” You will connect with your loved ones through screens, and despite your best efforts, you might miss important events—birthdays, weddings, baptisms that you noted in your calendar but went unnoticed in the hustle and bustle of life.
Your experience abroad will also be filled with frustrations: facing a new language with less fluency than you expected, clashing with cultural differences, and making mistakes, perhaps frequently, depending on your stress level. Accepting these inevitable frustrations helps you put things into perspective, allowing you to manage the anxiety that can arise even before you set off. Remember that not everything will go as planned. Instead of succumbing to pressure, take a moment to step back and adjust your expectations.
Rejecting blame
Guilt can arise from within or be imposed by your loved ones. It can make you question your right to leave, sowing doubts and undermining your confidence. Family and friends might take any opportunity to label your decision as selfish, using emotional blackmail. This guilt can distort your move, turning it into something akin to an escape, presenting you in an unfairly negative light. Remember, you are not obligated to accept this misrepresentation of your actions.
Take the time to reflect
Don’t wait until you’ve landed in your destination country to appreciate the journey you’ve undertaken. Allow yourself moments of reflection when needed. Being aware of your emotions is crucial, as moving to a foreign country requires a high level of self-control. We often tend to ignore our feelings and focus only on the logistical aspects of moving.
However, recognizing and listening to your emotions can improve your concentration and resilience. Be kind and understanding to yourself—this will help you handle the inevitable challenges that lie ahead. Taking a step back is not to avoid challenges, but to build the strength to face them. Keep your long-term goals in mind, as they are important enough to renew your purpose and allow you to face the future with serenity.
