The stories that we attach to and define ourselves with, can be detrimental to our well-being and success. Many people have gotten caught in a loop of drama, chaos, and suffering because they keep attaching to and retelling their story. If the story defines them as a victim, a failure, a misfortunate person, then they will keep finding themselves in situations that affirm the identity the person keeps feeding life to with their story – their perception of themselves.
I asked in the title if you are addicted to your story. Yes “addicted” is a bold word. Yet there are people I have met who keep telling their old story of themselves, even if it is pitiful or sad or full of tragedy because they get something out of it. Perhaps their ego thrives on the attention, or the pity, or even likes the excitement of drama or conflict. These are the pain bodies running the show – not the spiritual being of awakened consciousness.
This is not to say you should never share your life’s experiences with others. That is healthy, that is fine. It is the attachment, ego identification, and defining your present moment with the realities of your past – over and over again, that I am saying is a dis-empowering way to live your life.
Most people I have met that are stuck in their story, continue to attract the same experiences over and over, yet don’t seem to awaken to the fact that they have the power to change it. Many of these people live in a cycle of failed relationships, financial struggle, illness, displacement, and so on.
People addicted to their story will tell you their story repeatedly… they will tell everyone their story because that story defines them, it makes them, it is their headline statement telling the world who they are. The story feeds a hungry part of them; typically insecurity. Many people addicted to their story believe it is easier to get attention through pity or conflict than from being present, vulnerable, intimate, or authentic. These people haven’t believed in themselves or their ability to offer anything of value, so they allow their story to be who they are and stay hiding in a pattern of attracting attention through the tragedies and dramas of their past.
When a person is addicted to anything, including their story, there is no progress, no real healing, no shining. The addict is a slave to feeding the emptiness that hungrily demands more and more to fill the void that has been created through lack of self-love and connection to Spirit. The person addicted to their story typically fails to progress in their life. They are remaining locked in a past moment in time.
Although the past does influence us and shapes us, it must not define us if we seek to be free, and ever authentically progressing. We can learn and heal from the events of our past, yet the goal is to move past the past into the future we are creating now – never shackled or bound from flight by our attachments and judgments. Regardless if you suffered abuse, trauma, loss, sickness, or whatever hardships you endured, the key is to seek healing and understanding, compassion, and growth. If we were victimized, we still have the choice to heal that part of our life, release it, and steer clear from defining ourselves as a victim.
The “I Am” statement is one of the most powerful magic spells we can speak. It is our definition of who we are. It is what we are saying about our self to our self and to the world. We must look within our own minds, within our own subconscious, to find the I Am statements we have been speaking to ourselves quietly and behind the scenes. Look for ways you define yourself with anything that is self-defeating, dis-empowering, or hurtful.
As we set ourselves free from the past, and allow ourselves to be here and now – alive in the present moment, we then have the power to create the future we choose to envision. We can keep the memories of the past, we can keep the lessons, and the details of the stories; we can even retell the stories to teach lessons and help others, yet we need not be weighted down to the feelings and emotions of the past… we need not be suspended in time, unable to move forward due to the tentacles of attachment we formed when we allowed our stories to define us.
How do we quit? How do we change our story?
Ultimately our story must always e changing. Each day is a new day, and the moment of now is where we are at – eternally. To stop being attached to our past and addicted to our stories we create practices of stillness and mindfulness. An awareness of your thoughts, feelings, motives, intentions, insecurities, fears, and so on, will help you in knowing yourself better and becoming aware of any ways that you have been retelling stories to feed your ego or calm your insecurities.
Emotional healing, forgiveness, and radical self-responsibility are crucial for this process. We must do the work of healing the painful parts of ourselves if we truly wish to rise above the stories of the past and fly forwards into a new chapter of our lives … into a new story. When I say radical self-responsibility I am referring to the work of not blaming others for our problems, as well as seeking the deeper meaning of the experiences of our lives, and of our feelings about these experiences. It means digging a bit into your psyche, studying the chapters of your life, seeking the lessons and the patterns, and the truth of who you really are. It also means making the choice to change and heal what is needed when you recognize the need.
As we do this work and transform our perceptions and our actions, we open ourselves to limitless possibilities. We can create whatever we choose. We can be whoever we want. We can explore new ideas and new ways of experiencing life. When a person is stuck in their story they are cut off from limitless possibilities. They are attached to one set of possibilities – as defined by their story.
True empowerment and the ability to succeed at whatever it is we are pursuing, depends upon our ability to break the addiction to our stories, set ourselves free from the past, and accept our divine responsibility as powerful creators. In this work, we become the healer, the magician, the artist, and the warrior comes to set all captives free.
Be free. Cut the cords of attachment and learn to tell a story that empowers you, that brings blessings to your life, and that allows you to create the life of your dreams. You are that powerful.
About the Author
Zahrah Sita is a professional practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine and acupuncture, an herbalist, a health and wellness guide, an enthusiast of plant medicines and ancient indigenous wisdom. She helps lead sacred cacao ceremonies with the Mystic Heart Sacred Cacao Tribe. Zahrah is also a writer, a dancer, and a lover of all of the arts, nature, spirituality, and natural healing. Zahrah resides in Costa Rica year round.
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