Caresses not only refer to physical stimulation, but they also influence psychological stimulation. Everyone needs positive physical and psychological stimulation to achieve well-being, and caresses are a fundamental unit of social recognition. Caresses bring many benefits from an early age and as we advance in our life cycle.
Human beings need approval, acceptance. In the absence of affection, people become sad, distant or aggressive and violent. That is why it is imperative to learn to value, provide and receive the so-called “positive caresses”.
On one occasion, during a personal growth seminar on petting, which was held at an American university, a woman decided to kneel and crawl in front of the other participants, as a symbolic form of protest for considering that people caressed dogs more. ”If I act like a dog or a baby, they will surely caress me sincerely,” she said. This true story reflects the great need, sometimes unrecognized, of receiving “positive caresses”.
We can say that positive caress is any expressive manifestation, verbal or nonverbal, that is gratifying. There are many types of positive caresses, including words, gestures, movements, body postures and satisfactory actions of various gratifying nature. A smiling greeting, the friendly barking of our dog, a gift, a compliment, a kiss, a hug, a phone call, an invitation to talk or go for a walk, a sweet look, expressions like “I love you”, “I miss you”, “I like to share with you”, are examples that fit this denomination.
Anything that represents the opposite of this, we can consider it as “negative caresses” and are all those that are harmful to us. Some examples of these would be: blows, threats, disqualifying adjectives, shouting, reproving glances, body positions that reflect rejection, criticism, and indifference.
We must not confuse honest caress, which springs from the need to express affection, with the false caress usually expressed in the form of flattery, and which is rather related to hypocrisy. The reason that drives us to act like this is the fear of not getting what we want if we act honestly. That is why hypocrisy is always a consequence of low self-esteem.
If we are all hungry for contact, encouragement, and recognition; If that emotional nourishment is so necessary, why are we so reluctant to approach, express and receive demonstrations of affection? The answer is in our cultural programming, forged in the family and society. We are taught to give in a prejudiced manner and by dose. We are forbidden from spontaneity and we learn to inhibit ourselves, to be ashamed of our feelings and to fear rejection. The solution to overcome our lack of affection may well be to learn to caress ourselves and to generously caress others, with an emphasis on our friends, loved ones and relatives.
What can we do to improve our emotional relationships?
-The risk to ask for caresses, without begging, or requesting them in a complaining or guilty way.
-It is also necessary to be open to receiving. Many of us have been indoctrinated to feel unworthy of affection or to accept only certain types of positive caresses and only at certain times.
-Sorry old grievances and mistakes that can no longer be remedied.
-Break the indifference, move towards love and you will receive a reward that will exceed your expectations.
-Don’t keep playing to lose. Do not get caught up in inhibition, relying on insulating prejudices that only worry us, make us sick and keep us from happiness.
Caresses in organizations.
The absence of positive caresses sooner rather than later will end up being pure toxicity for those who inhale them. A relationship that is based on negative caresses or scarcity usually leads to insults, lack of security, humiliation, fear. In organizations, if people feel that they are already heard off and that when seeking good treatment (positive caresses) they get them in their right measure, this begins to generate deep roots of synergies, trust, and commitment, “I do my job with the greatest effort because I cannot disappoint the confidence they have in me”, from this fact we could already see quality and excellence in everything we do.
Let’s learn to value, give and receive positive caresses. It is important to highlight all those feelings that stimulate us and others. Many times it is a matter of culture and family customs, but we are always on time to include in our new life patterns and good ways of living.