Frequently Asked Questions About Sexuality in Couples

Each couple is unique, each of them experiences very different moments and circumstances, however, the sexual problems are usually very similar.

Nowadays couples go to therapists to highlight their difficulties, although for many of them the problems they face in the matter of sexuality are unique and rare.

According to many therapists, the most common questions asked by couples who attend their offices are:

Does having sexual problems mean that we don’t love each other?

No, the fact that there are problems of this type in a couple is not an exclusive indication that there is no love. Nor is a satisfactory sexual relationship proof that the couple loves each other. There are many reasons why a loving partner may have difficulties in physical love.

It is usually normal and even natural that over time that flame of love tends to go out and nothing is the same as at the beginning of the relationship. However, many couples are distressed that this cooling of appetite seems to be an indication that love is fading.

They try to identify a culprit.
According to a study by the American Medical Association, the sexual problem, when it occurs, hardly ever affects one, but both are involved in it.

Impotence can be caused by fear of failure, because the man is pressured by his wife or is teased, or by both causes. A woman unable to reach orgasm may experience a psychological block, but her husband may also not know how to awaken his instincts.

Why do I rarely feel carnal desire?
This is another question that, on the sexual level, some of the two ask very frequently, the man or the woman.

If the reason is the tedium caused by always the same routine, perhaps the therapist advises trying different situations, moments, or methods. Other times physical factors intervene with some chronic disease, an imbalance of sex hormones, the side effects of certain medications, abuse of tranquilizers, alcohol, antidepressants, and even simple fatigue.

According to therapist Marcia Lasswell, “sexual energies are depleted, without realizing it, by the demands of work (at home or in the office) and the education and upbringing of children.”
But more often than not, loss of desire is a disguise for some emotional conflict.

Masturbation satisfies me as much as intercourse. Is this normal?
Measurements of heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle contractions show that in some people the orgasms produced by masturbation are usually more intense. One reason for this, Arthur Lamphere comments, “is that solitary enjoyment does not require as much as the act in which two people participate, and the feedback of what they like and what they don’t like immediately operates.”

Consequently, masturbation often opens the doors to a better interpersonal relationship; for example, the woman who learns to reach orgasm by masturbating and teaches her partner how to caress her to achieve the same result during intercourse.

Is imagining the sexual act with another person normal even with the spouse?
Within the therapies in this world of sexuality, it is very common that these scenarios arise. Many people believe that they are expressions of unconscious desires.
However, there is a very clear boundary between fantasy and reality. Marcia Lasswell points out. “If people use imagination in the same way as music, perfumes, or soft lights, there is nothing abnormal.”

Some therapists believe that sometimes fantasizing about another person serves as a psychological prelude, or to “connect” to anxieties that can cause impotence or prevent orgasm.

Many crises occur in couples in the world of sexuality, and based on them, questions arise that in most cases seem abnormal for some of them, when in fact they are usually very common.
Trust, communication, and sincerity are elements that must be put into practice when these problems arise between couples.

Resonance Costa Rica
VIABeleida Delgado
SOURCEEdixon Colmenarez
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