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The second-to-last Art City Tour for 2015 is this Wednesday, September 16. Stay educated before you go.

Art City Tour has gained many fans in the last six years since it began, but don’t let their raving reviews fool you. There are plenty of reasons not to attend.

1. You actually hate art.

You’ve seen it all: contemporary, Baroque, surreal, precolumbian… yet nothing is quite as beautiful as the beautifully bare walls of home. Paintings? Photos? Pottery? It all just hurts your eyes. Why would you ever want to expose yourself to four whole hours of art?

2. Ignorance is bliss.

Jurassic Park novelist Michael Crichton once said, “If you don’t know history, then you don’t know anything,” and you’d like to keep it that way! Colonial conquests? Boring. Intricate golden artifacts? Too gaudy. You’d rather follow in the footsteps of Pink Floyd, because you “don’t need no education.”

3. You don’t like free things.

We get it. Why get unlimited access to San Jose’s many museums for free, when you can pay $10 per museum any other day? How else can you get rid of all that cash weighing down your back pocket? Free entrance, free transportation, free special events… no thank you!

4. Rice and beans are superior.

Who isn’t a little scared of foreign food? Sure it might be gourmet and fresh from the market, but it isn’t what you’re used to. The opportunities Art City Tour offers to visit restaurants with artisanally-crafted dishes and drinks just make you scrunch up your nose.

5. You prefer Segways and hovercraft.

After all they’re the transport of the future. Biking is too much exercise, and buses are too crowded. God forbid you ever have to walk anywhere in one of the world’s most beautiful countries. Maybe you’d consider the tour if they offered more modern options to get from museum to museum.

If for whatever reason you still want to attend, the Greater Metropolitan Area’s cultural activities program will pick you up at one of the following locations: Museo de Arte y Diseño Contemporáneo, Museo Nacional, Museo del Jade y la cultura precolombina, Museo Calderón Guardia, Museos del Banco Central, Museo de Arte Costarricense.

… but consider yourself warned!