A person with HIV can develop his emotional and couple life, like any human being. … This type of relationship is called a “serodiscordant couple”, in which one of the people has HIV and the other does not; They can be of any sexual orientation, with or without children.

Perhaps you can feel that your relationship is at risk, so it would be useful for you to resort to professional help so that together with your partner they can answer these and other questions.

Speaking the people understand

Communication is an important factor in any relationship and, in serodiscordant couples, it is the key that allows you to release tension and try to understand yourself and the other. Fear, fear, anger, sadness can paralyze you. However, they are part of a process by which the couple learns to live with HIV.

Start over

Sex in a serodiscordant couple is one of the aspects that can be experienced as the most conflictive, however, this is not the case. Perhaps the first love affairs after the diagnosis are made are filled with fear and doubt, due to the fears of the HIV-negative member to contract the virus and the member living with HIV to transmit it. Fear is undoubtedly a human feeling that is often hidden so as not to hurt the partner. Many times fear paralyzes, to the point of reducing or canceling sexual desire. However, it is always possible to recover this desire, especially when you have information. Re-encountering the other sexually is not an easy task. New behaviors must be incorporated, be careful in sexual practices, and always be well informed about what is safe or not. Finding new and varied ways to connect, increasing self-esteem, can help strengthen the bond of union and encounter of the couple. At this time it would be healthy to speak without prejudice about the desires, needs, and fantasies that each of the members of the couple has. It is necessary for the support and the obtaining of precise medical information, that allows us to generate a trustworthy environment.

Incorporating a new ally and learning to use it together

As a method of protection against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, the condom is the most effective tool. Unfortunately, not all people use it. Incorporate it from the beginning of the sexual relationship, not as a barrier but as an integrating complement to the couple. Perhaps they require time, communication, and a good predisposition. To practice safe sex, it is necessary to correctly use the condom in each of the sexual relations (vaginal, anal, or oral), from the beginning and until the end.

The use of two condoms does not decrease the risk of transmission of HIV and other infections. Friction between two latex portions increases the risk of condom breakage. If lubricant is used, it must be water-based and must be placed in the area to penetrate (vagina or anus).

It is essential to know that in case of condom breakage during sexual intercourse, there is the possibility of attending within 48 hours. to a healthcare center so that the negative partner receives adequate preventive treatment.

Lose one’s head

Over time, after the adaptation stage, signs of weakening prevention habits may appear, supported by thoughts such as “If I never got it, why am I getting it now? Or “for once we don’t use it …”. It is in these moments when the need must be reaffirmed and the will to use the condom must be sustained. It happens that by adapting to the presence of the virus or not feeling it, it is possible to forget that care must always exist and that with a single carelessness, you are exposed to transmission.

Control is for both of us

Although in a serodiscordant couple it is a member of HIV who undergoes regular medical check-ups, their partner must undergo routine tests every 6 months. This control can generate some anxiety, mainly due to fear of a positive result for HIV if an accident occurred (the condom broke or got out of place) or a condom was not used. Support groups for serodiscordant couples can also accompany you and support you while waiting for this result.

Continuing to grow together is possible. Building in pairs is up to you.

Resonance Costa Rica